Critique of pure love

The post-modern striving to create conscientious and global citizens has resulted in a generation that is unsure of its own identity. Stripped of national pride, parochial values and family ties, modern man struggles to identify a purpose in life that is unique to himself, and that justifies his value as a unique individual.

Nature abhors a vacuum, however, and so a plethora of mind-numbingly virtuous causes has risen from the ashes of conservative values. The plight of the newly-declared misunderstood and underrated, has galvanised millions out of their hedonistic stupor and poster superhero infatuation. Thus the sins of the arrogant ages have garishly rematerialised to arouse the indignation of all decent thinking people.

And so we are left undecided. Would it be better to live in an age of chivalry, classical culture and spurious mores? Or is it better to embrace slavish freedom and autocratic salvation?

One love

Probably the most undiscussed assumption of the modern zeitgeist, is the belief that all love is one. Not only did the hippies promulgate the ideal of unfettered love, they also promulgated the idea that love is indivisible and universal. Mankind is united under this sublime spirit of goodness, all expressions of which are one. Because there is no difference between the electric love of an open-air rock concert and the sublime devotion of a sanctuary, love can serve as the universal solvent of man’s differences.

It is not altogether clear if this assumption is correct, however. Love is the power to give of the self, and the self is hard-earned and different for everyone. That is why the love that comes after a long period of striving and accomplishment, is an altogether deeper and sweeter love than the artless love of whimsy and desire. That is also why every culture has its own unique way of displaying love, and why every person within each culture has their own unique way of loving, each according to their inner-self and persona.

So instead of assuming only one love, it would seem more likely that there are instead infinite loves. One nation’s love is not the same as another’s, one man’s love is not the same as another’s, and the love of each day with its particular challenges, is not the same as the love of yesterday or tomorrow.

Local love

The interaction and fusing of two souls that we call intimacy, comes at the intersection of the distinct and unique loves that each has to give the other. The more different the loves, and the greater the distance from which the souls communicate, the greater the beauty and grace each bestows the other. In this way, the greatest oneness is born of the greatest separateness. Additionally, when strong opposites attract, the forces of attraction are localised between the attracted. However when weak opposites attract, the forces of attraction spread out and are diffused among the surroundings.

This is why the more we buy into the notion that all love is one, the weaker the bonds of love become. Relationships become increasingly ephemeral, because there is no difference who the lover is and who the beloved. Lovers become desperate for expensive shared experiences, since these experiences comprise the surrounding world’s ratification of their romance. And so the cottar’s gentle evening walk with his wife has been snuffed out by the psychedelic overture of modern loving.

Despite the hippies’ promise of love for all, we live in a world where true, enduring love has become increasingly rare, so that the banality of ubiquitous love has resulted in no love at all.

In conclusion

To find true, sincere love we must find character, and to find character we must find challenge. Once upon a time, challenge was provided by a parochial system. In order to profess to love, one had to first meet the challenges demanded from those who aspired to such an elevated calling.

For good or for bad, these prerequisites have gone the way of yesterday’s newspaper, and so we have to challenge ourselves to create our own trials. Perhaps it is not obvious that we do not need to refine our characters, force ourselves to live for others and work hard to find the meaningfulness in every fleeting moment and chance encounter.

There is no easy way to earn true selfhood. Maybe the most we can hope for is that if we are true to ourselves, we can be true to others, and others can be true to us. But being true requires a lifetime commitment of grit and hard work.